eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
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You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize