i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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