He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
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Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
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My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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