He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
