he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize