hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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