he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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