I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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