I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
