So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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