Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
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