Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
