Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
