There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
