either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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