i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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