she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
