i just identified you from a description of your pipe
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
