I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
