I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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