Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
As shirtless as possible
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
