my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize