she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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