If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
