i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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