Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize