So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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