she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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