beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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