You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
