i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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