Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
