My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
bring money and cleavage
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
