I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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