my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
