No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
