when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize