Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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