Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
