The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
false alarm, still single
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