their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
