i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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