I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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