no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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