you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
