I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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