Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
