that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My balls are so social today.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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