He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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