Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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