I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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