Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
