Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize