It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
