You smell like stripper and shame
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
