So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
