dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize