I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
