Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize