That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
