I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
