It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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