If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize