so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
