I hate all girls vehemently.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
