Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
